In 2007, when I was working as a nutrition counselor and teaching Pilates, I was going through a very personal and tough season in my life. I found myself in a toxic work environment and should have removed myself from it sooner than I did.

 

I was so stressed out that I began to slowly but not obviously at first, show signs of declining health. This is ironic considering that I was a health worker and all I wanted to do was help make other people's lives better and happier.

 

One morning, my entire life had changed unbelievably and dramatically. I woke up with debilitating pain on the left side of my body concentrating on the head, neck, and face. I was dizzy, disoriented and I couldn't open my eyes at any sign of light much less drive myself to work. I was so weak, fatigued and confused. That night I couldn't lie down on the left side of my head or even in any other position for long.

 

What was happening I thought? Did I have a stroke, Lyme disease, or some kind of fatal disease?  To make a long story short, I spent the next couple of weeks going to every kind of doctor, taking every kind of test, consuming tons of different medications to no avail. Not a single doctor had an answer for me. Not a single test showed any sign of anything. And all the medications I took made me worse. What did I have? After two weeks of this hell, I will never forget the gripping fear I had that this will never go away. Little did I know that I would have to endure this trial for not only two weeks, two months, or even two years, but 13 years.

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I spent years trying to fix myself and managed to find healing along the way. It was because of my knowledge and the hours I spent every single day doing research to find what was wrong, that I was able to find not just one problem but many.

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Yes, it took that long to discover all the various health issues I had and I wish I knew at the time that it wasn't just one thing, but multifactorial. We are always trying to find that magic bullet; that one diagnosis; that one cure that will end it all and make us whole again. I wasn't so lucky.

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God, had a different plan for me. I believe He wanted me to get to know myself and to truly understand why I was so sick and in pain. Years of reflection and introspection will do that. Not only did I learn even more about food, vitamins, supplements, water, physical therapy, Pilates, breathing techniques, and stress relief, it was revealed to me that I had repressed feelings of anger, unforgiveness, and sadness. I had also discovered that my thoughts were not healthy and did not serve me.

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It wasn't until I had hit rock bottom that this reality was staring at me in the face. I thought my hours of prayer had gone unanswered but in fact, God was giving me little nuggets along the way.  It was slow process but eventually my stubborn human brain understood.........

It is not just what you put on or in your body, or a toxic environment that determines health, but the internal, toxic, mental environment. It is the state of the mind and soul that has possibly an even greater impact on wellness than we can possibly imagine.

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Where do I stand now? I am in a place where my pain is at a minimum due to a managed lifestyle that continues to include Pilates, fascial and breath work. I have my strength, energy, and vitality back with a greater sense of who I am and a stronger appreciation for life. I no longer have days where I have limit my activity to only a few. I no longer have brain fog. It is not perfect, but I know that I will strive to live my best life at the best of my ability.

 

If I already had the passion to help people and I was already knowledgeable about nutrition and health prior to my illness, can you imagine how I can serve now?

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